Last night, I sensed emptiness, a darkness closing
around me. I wondered did I stray too far off the
path that God had set for me to follow in this life.
The darkness was bottomless and menacing it
would not release me from my fear. Terror like the
cold hands of death and panic assumed a position
I had let no one know of the fear that had imprisoned
my spirit and soul every night when I went to bed
the darkness suffocated me. I felt hopeless with no
guidance, the hours passed slowly, I do not wake.
When sunlight appeared in my window and the
night was no more, the desecrated black waste
hung over me. What was it that I experienced
during the night, Hell!
I rose from where I lay and found my feet up
on a another path that was unknown to me, it
was a lighted way and when I look back toward
where I had lay there was nothing but rushing
muddy waters. There should be no water where
I slept. My eyes surveyed all that and I stood
quietly in a whirlpool of my own fears. Why
can I not wake from this sleep?
Fear rose in my throat, choking me. I could not
breathe, the light of mercy will never shine
upon me again. I walked through a valley, I
tried to climb out, there was nothing in the
landscape before me or behind me, no sun,
no sky, no trees, no homes, nothing. I slumped
to the ground where I stood. There is no breath,
had creation ended? I lifted my head tossing
back the once brown flowing mane, suddenly
white as a winter’s snow.
I screamed this darkness does not own me,
nor my heart and soul. I had not been
unfeeling in life. Oh Creator cleanse my soul,
deliver me from this inferno where I stand
among the bones of those who have gone
before me. I heard a voice call to me in the
darkness, I wanted to wake from this
nightmare, I wanted to be safe, and I wanted
my spirit and soul to feel the sun as it rises
in the morning.
Here in this darkness my life is shown to
me, and I remembered everything, from
beginning to the soon to be end. I moved
slowly in the dense darkness, my mind
moved from time to time good days and
bad days. The abuse times still burnt into
my mind. There is no hope, no safe place
for me. What is that I see a sliver of
sunlight penetrates my eyes and mind?
I was not dead and I cried releasing
myself from the darkness and void that
had taken over my body and mind. I
live for another day, God has given
me another chance.