The Certainties of Life…



The Certainties of Life…


Life is an uncertain race where

most people do no more than run

in place, there can be happiness,

sadness, and around every corner

a surprise; yet hope blooms.

Life is what one must create within

their allotted space, or sit on the

sidelines and wait leaving their

journey to fate.

Life is not all joy floating upon the

winds of time; there are rights and

wrongs; and unknown quandaries,

setbacks, and living means moving

forward. Life quickly passes, fair and

cloudy days, laughter and tears, and

then the warmth of the sun subsides

ones fears.

Life may mean walking in the valleys

of despair until fate starts an upward

climb, living with happiness, or grief;

always trust the heart and mind.

Life lived in harmony with others,

loving, caring and expectations met;

seeds of livelihood sown, repentance

locked away for God to judge; we strive

and labor until we pass on.






The Gilded Gate…

The Gilded Gate…

Thunder bellows from the sky, descending to valley floor,

it roused me from a deep sleep; the one lying beside me

does not move they do not wake. It quickly becomes darker,

the profound sounds hold angrily above the valley bounces

off the forest, trees sways in the wind. Without warning,

the winds spiral upward into the thunder and lightning.

The valley was like a ringed abyss.


The wind continued like torment and blaspheming.
A sadness began to settle in, is this the outer certainty

of hell? I questioned my faith, would my lover and I

die within this doomed place, God please hear my

pleading. I cried. Did I fall asleep, did I fall into a restless

dream, and then an obedient voice was heard. Within this

dream. I witnessed countless people, their hopelessness

as they walked slowly through a gate.


The dream continued on, leaving me bewildered in my darkest

deepest sleep. Before me rose a widening light, it filled half

of the darkness, “Who Master are those that walk through the

gilded gate”.  My master smiles at me, it was then that the gate

opens to me wide green lawns stretched as far as the eyes could see.

Then marvelous spirits approached. I moved quickly trying to walk

into the moving light.


I woke and the darkness fell around me, the wind had left the valley,

I would live for another day.


The Four Agreements Author – Don Miguel Ruiz


The Four Agreements

Author – Don Miguel Ruiz

I am on my third reading of books by Don Miguel Ruiz, I have tried to adapt myself to follow some of his teachings, It is not easy. The books can be bought on It is very difficult and a challenge to follow this Toltec method. I wanted to share this with you, as I believe it to be a wonderful way to live. My reason for being on my third reading…it is very difficult to live by, no… it is almost impossible. For those of you that practice these teaching already and are successful I have the greatest respect. For me, I keep trying!  If I could master the four below I would be happy.  They make sense to me.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you will not be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always do your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.


A Second Chance…



A Second Chance…

There are times when I am dreaming

that I believe outside my door is the

gateway to the city of doom; nevertheless

each night when I sleep I open the door

walking into another sphere of everlasting

pain, mentally and physically. No one

pushes me through the gate, I walk willingly,

and I feel confident that I can handle the

tragedy that I know will be waiting there for

me. Tucked deep inside the confidence

there is fear, within the fear there are secret

things, distrust and lies.

The darkness is the most evil; a blood red moon

framed by the stars hangs above me. Hearing

strange tongues frightful and shrill, filled with

anger, strikes fear into my heart. Sometimes I

weep as the outcries reach my ears, as I do not

have a stainless claim to my own life. I fear for

the souls, even the depths of hell may refuse

them and they will be lost forever in the


I question is there hope with death, will we

have memories of the earth and of the lives

that remain when we are gone? The souls

that I hear are loud, their tears are blood red,

and each is crawling in vile mud. I lower my

eyes. will they have rebirth, if they lived in

blaspheming is this terrible wailing their fate.

A bitter flood rushed over me as each pass to

their final resting place. They seem conscious

of their nearing doom. It is in this darkness

that each was given a second chance to feel

the love of God upon their faces, they refused.

Afterwards the ground broke from beneath

their feet, and I seem to be sinking with them

to a senseless dreadful shore and I am afraid

that I will not wake from this nightmare.



The City of Destiny…


The City of Destiny…

I have the key to the city of destiny.

Through me, you will find the entrance

to everlasting tenderness, to those

who are lost. I myself have built this

imaginary city from beginning to end

with wisdom and love. It has seen

many dauntless days. The entity of life

said I am deathless; I do not die. I feel

distrust, I am a coward in this city of

Will you be fearful if I tell you that this

place is one of doom and darkness, one

of the damned, filled with heartless

secrets? As the darkness closes in on the

city, wailing begins loud the weeping

of unending pain. The voices with

passion filled the night, our souls

dancing in the wind. In this

everlasting night.
A Voice filled the darkness, do you fear

the Lord, the God of many, and then

this voice spoke of hope and death.

There is memory of them on the earth,

those lives that remain behind, and

their outcry does not reach your ears

in this make-believe place. Is there

justice beyond these walls, move

quickly or you will be doomed. The

souls are unnumbered.
I thought the whole city as dead, is

this retreat before everlasting life.

I saw the victims all naked and loud.

Weak and painful, some with blood

upon their faces. I gazed forward

and beg for daybreak to end all this

and me, wake me before it is too late.

Before me is nothing, a fearful abyss.
Then demons rose, one after the other

descending into the chasm. The evil

seed of the demon did this throughout

the endless night. I lay there silent with

an unspoken thought, he will come, and

he will spur justice and fear for those

that are within his reach, those that call

his name.
Then the ground began to tremble. It was

a terrifying sound. The wind rose and a

blood red moon cast its light upon the earth

where we stood. I sank further into the

dreadful dream hammering me with

waves of fear.

Wake up!




A Place of Reality…



A Place of Reality…

I have spoke of horrifying things, are these

weak words built from understanding. I am

neither a coward nor a saint, my thoughts

are clear, my plan open to change. There are

times when I live in the “Outer Place”, where

no one can get to me where no one knows me

where I will not be bothered by human drama.
There is no place that I can flee; I fear I was

born too early or maybe too late. At night I

dream of heaven, I traveled from star to star.

Do I have a wish in that dark realm, there

looking toward Earth I see the creation. Heaven

was not open to me, nor was Hell; the dream,

the darkness of night, it was a strange descent

into my place of reality.
It is there in reality that I search for truth, as I

dream, I follow a dark stream to the sea, and it

is there that I find a sacred place for me to

dwell. The place that I dwell is not for the faint

hearted, it is on this path that I find my true

worth, within time I find whom I may follow.

There are no more delays to this life; there will

be no more words. I must travel forward on

this hard and dreadful way.





Charging into the Future…

Dragon software th

Most of you know of the health problems that has challenged me over the past two years, first the heart decided to give me a jolt to my future if I did not change my lifestyle. This past year, 2017, was to bring humility to my life in the way of a stroke. It seemed as if each new challenge was trying to teach me something. The leftover of the stroke after rehab was a continued tiredness, which kept me from doing my daily things such as walking 6 miles with my dog Mason three times a day. Going to the gym, working out on the treadmill and other equipment no less than two hours free times a week. I have had to put all of this behind me and try to move forward with being grateful for the things I can do.

A big part of my life is writing it would seem that I have nerve damage in both arms; this in turn affects my hands. The right hand has a permanent trimmer; the left-hand three fingers are useless, today. Tests were run to give some conclusion as to where I stand with this problem. It would appear that this is permanent, now I began another journey.

I am able to walk perfectly and upright for short distances, if I go to the mall or any open outing. I have to be smart enough to take the Walker that I truly dislike. When you read that karma is a bitch, believe it. I have said in the past that I would never use a walker, wrong, when it was my only means of moving about. It became my best friend.

Which brings me to my new best friend, Dragon, it allows me to transcript all of my writing voice to text and I love it. No longer with the useless fingers are hands and my having to backtrack and correct of words that my fingers typed it. My brain did not tell it to do, Dragon set up quickly. It adapted quickly to my voice and writing style. I am promoting this software to anyone that it would make their life easier, it is user-friendly and it puts me back into this new journey, this new time of my life, it has allowed me to continue doing the things that I love. This software is from Amazon, it is not cheap nor is it overly priced, have a choice of choosing several different types. Thanks to all of you for your loyalty and support, let us travel this new journey together.


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Living in the Moment…



Hello everyone, it has been quite a while since I have posted anything on the blog. Health and winter problems, health getting much better, winter in Wisconsin is up and down. No snow, but extreme cold. Wisconsin with ice, snow, rain, cold also comes the flu season, the common cold and a host of other viruses.
Even my four-legged son Mason came down with an ear infection. That may not sound serious; however, he will not let anyone touch his ears. Therefore, he has to be put to sleep to clean them out and put in medicine. Mason will be six years old on January 31. I know that is still young but this breed can have many problems. Time goes quickly and there are times I think about my life without him. He has been an Angel sent to me from “above”.

I have been laughing about the complex that I live in; it is filled to the brim with “old” people. My laughter is obliged as I am the same age of many, but… We have a central community room, which I never go too. The main lobby is another gathering place during “mail time”. I have discussed with some about the decorations; Thanksgiving décor was up the day after Halloween. Christmas décor was up before I had eaten all the Thanksgiving left over’s. Christmas night all of those decorations came down and Valentines went up! Trust me, Easter décor will appear before the Valentine chocolates are eaten.
How do I know all this…I go to the mailbox about midnight when everyone else is in bed, because of winter I walk Mason in the hallways.
I think the focus here or the main words are independent living. It is not a nursing home, but it is a facility that caters to the elderly. It makes my children happy that I am where there are many things that can make my daily life easier and they do not have to worry about me. I have a sign on my main door that reads, “Do not disturb”. I have a reputation I have been told that of a hermit. I do not want to listen to stories about age, aches and pains…I have my own.
They have “Happy Hour” on Fridays, 4 to 5 PM, you have to be there at four O’clock and you are ushered out the door at 5 O’clock. I went once, then took my bottle and went home. A one-hour Happy Hour just does not do it for me. Nevertheless, such is my life, I am happy.
I am currently working on my new book with no titles at this time; it is all printed out waiting for me to do proofing. This is not an easy job, as most of you know. Either, I hope to devote some of the winter months when I cannot get out to my painting. This book will be a work of fiction based on fact, which I have decided to do. There are a few family members living and I want to respect their privacy.
Therefore, the winter months are here. I will wane away the time on self-made projects. Sharing these moments with my readers, my followers is another great joy of mine.

In the Darkness of Night…


Dedicated to my Grandmothers, Grandfathers and My Daddy…


In the Darkness of Night
I hear the cries of my grandmothers and grandfathers, I feel their fear; I walk with them in my dreams on the Trail of Tears. Their feet bloody as they walked the rutted trail, every scar on their backs another story to tell.
The Grandfathers and their families stood tall, their backs they refused to bend, and the pale strangers herded them like cattle to a far off land, to die in hot barren sand. My people believed the land belonged to no one, given to all by the “Great Mystery”; still they died with broken souls never knowing that their story in time would cover the blood-splattered pages of history.
My people watched as women gave birth and warriors carried the dead, the children went to sleep hungry with the ground as their bed. The day came when these great people were corralled, given musty water and bug-infested cornmeal to eat, in a place with no hope, to the pale man they were bound; a killing field where the blood of my family spilled upon the ground
I hear you my grandmothers and grandfathers, your cries, do not go unheard in the darkness of night; for in my dreams I walk with you, I feel your fear; I wake each morning with the taste of your tears.


Dreaming Life is Fine, Fine as Honeydew Wine…



I walked down the dusty road toward Flint Creek; I sat on the bridge, muddy rushing water twenty feet below the bridge. I was a motherless child, I could not think, I slid with ease off the rough planks into the Creek; I sank.

I broke the muddy water with unrestrained speed, I rose from the dank depths and gasp for air, the second time I emerged I swam to the slippery bank heaved myself onto its clay sides and I cried. The water was cold; I wiped the tears from my eyes, if it had not been for the Angel I would have died.

Yes, there beneath the cold muddy water swam an Angel, she smiled shaking her head; go home she spoke softly in my ear, life is not always fair but you have nothing to fear.

I was at the fork of the road, one road lead home the other up the mountain where the sheer cliffs towered over the land. I stood there, I hollered, I stood there and I cried; I was a motherless child.